Drowning
by RoseofDestiny
Summary: Jimmy's in a coma and the others are feeling rather depressed without the genius. A lot of depressing things, including an attempted (or successful) suicide
1. Default Chapter

**Note from Destiny: **Sorry about the hold up with my other Jimmy story..but..well..had this whole awkward scene between Carl and Betty that badly needs to be re-written. This is a depressing fanfic, and don't give me a bunch of BS replies telling me everyone's out of character, because this is going a bit deeper into what I think is happening in those minds of theirs. Especially Cindy's. Cindy is sixteen in this, as are the others, Sheen is..I have no idea how old Sheen is, if someone would help and reply to tell me, I'd like that very much.

Cindy stood in the shower, rinsing her hair, trying to forget. To forget anything about the past few days. One forgotten memory could take several stabs of pain away. She stared at the water that had gathered at her feet in the tub. It was ridiculously high now, about four inches above her ankles. It looked so calm..so inviting. No matter how much soap she rinsed into the water, it didn't lose its clarity. It was odd, and yet..comforting, she realized. This one thing could remain so pure no matter what she did to it..

If only the rest of life were like that. Lately, Cindy had thought perhaps she had a curse running through her veins, which broke down anything she was close to, or anything or anyone she was foolish enough to touch. Like Jimmy..

_Stop thinking about that, he'll be fine._ She chastised herself, shaking it off. She grabbed a comb and ran it through her hair, using it to get the conditioner out. Each time she reached the end of the strands, they'd bob back into a slight curl at the end. It had always annoyed her, but the presence of its familiarity was one of the few soothing factors she had at the moment.

Jimmy was in the hospital, and the prospects were, at best, grim. His parents were probably still in the waiting room, pacing around, wondering if their only child, their brilliant son, would ever awaken. A single tear fell from Cindy's eyes, mixing with the water already in the tub. It was even with the top of the tub now..if she didn't turn the water off soon, it was going to overflow.

Her mom would be mad...

Now the water beating down overhead from the showerhead had gone chillingly, icily cold. She shivered, and collapsed to her knees. The water in the tub was still warm, though...she had never noticed how much it looked like a bed. If she were to lay down now, maybe there wouldn't be any pain..maybe it would be quick.

If Jimmy never woke up, wouldn't it be best to go with him? Jimmy...he wasn't waking. It had been a week, and he still wasn't waking. _Damn it, Neutron, wake up! You've never kept me waiting before..why are you now? Sheen's completely lost what little he had left, and Carl got sent to the mental hospital two days ago, all because of you! Wake up..please, Jimmy, wake up. We aren't ready to be without you. **I'm** not ready to be without you.._

As these thoughts ran through Cindy's head unbridled, the water began spilling over onto the floor. Not that she noticed. And when she finally did, she didn't care. All that mattered was that she might never see those blue eyes again...that they were hidden behind heavy lids that refused to open, even with his own parents' constant pleading.

At first, Cindy had visited, along with Libby. She had truely believed he would wake up, smile at them, and make some lame joke about Cindy having bad fashion sense or some other nonsense. But he had just lain there, like..._like a corpse._ Cindy admitted to herself, finally reaching through the pounding water and turning the water off. She leaned back, letting the water wash over her.

She cursed him silently, guiltily. It hadn't been his fault. If anyone's, it had been her own. After all, it was their petty argument that caused him to take his eyes of the reactor of whatever the heck his new invention was. And while they had argued over the size of Jimmy's head and Cindy's pants, the reactor had reached critical condition..Jimmy had noticed just in time to press some energy shield to protect Cindy and the others, but he hadn't had time to get behind it himself.

The explosion wasn't that bad, Cindy supposed, but Jimmy had gotten the worst of it, being so close with no protection at all. _I never even got to tell him.._Cindy thought miserably, sinking even farther into the water. So many times she had tried to get those words out, and so many times, had utterly failed. It had been so much harder than it seemed.

But now, who was to say if Cindy would get a chance to even be rejected? This was Jimmy..if he could overcome it, he would have by now. The only person capable of saving him would be Jimmy himself, and how would that be possible? Was there anyway for him to have a brainblast to save himself while he was in a coma, hooked up to all sorts of machines that beeped and pinged irritatingly during those deathly silences?

By instinct, her hand flew to the gold braided chain around her neck; a pearl Jimmy had given her back when they were eleven. That had been the best day of Cindy's life..being near Jimmy without being expected to fight with him. How stupid was that? Arguing with the one she loved because people had come to expect it of her...

_Screw them._ Cindy thought decisevly, slipping even farther into the water. How she wanted to just close her eyes..to sleep..to let the water do its work. She had heard once that drowning really was like sleeping, but then again, who could say but one who had actually drowned? Maybe, she thought, she should find out for herself. Her eyelids suddenly felt much heavier. She could barely hold her eyes open anyways..and who'd care if she was gone? Well, of course, there was Libby, but Libby's be all right, Cindy supposed.

Her mouth and nose were completely water logged now. Her green eyes, blood-shot and red from crying, were reflected in the water, staring back up at her. She glared at them, and they glared back. Cindy's breath was gone..if she didn't want to pass out or die, she'd have to resurface now. But she found that she didn't want to...

Slowly, everything slipped out of focus. There was a sharp pain in her chest, but nothing she couldn't handle. Her eyes closed, and she slipped even farther into the peaceful water, embracing the possibility that it might be the real end of all her pain...

**End of Chapter One: **I know this is depressing...just tell me if you like it or not, ok? Cindy may or may not die from this, I haven't really decided yet...anyways, review, please.


	2. Giving Up

It was odd...plastic was made to be durable, made so that when it dropped, it wouldn't break. Made to be stronger than glass. Sheen had never really thought much about it before, but now as he sat staring at one of his favorite Ultra Lord action figures, the thought had struck him. He had just pushed the mask up, and the plastic, which Sheen assumed had cracked long ago, completely split, leaving the crusader's face and identity revealed.

In Sheen's mind, three things in this world would always be truths, would always stay the same: 1. Ultra Lord would always save the day. 2. His dad would always be there for him and 3. No matter how bad Sheen messed up, no matter what stupid mistake he made, Jimmy would always be his friend and help him.

Before Sheen had met Jimmy, he was even more absorbed in Ultra Lord then he was now. His father and mother had divorced back when he was eight, and his mother had moved away. His father, Emelio Estevez did the best he could, but he had to work all the time, leaving Sheen alone. But he still managed to be there for him.

Many of his Ultra Lord figures, on the other hand, were breaking lately, the less-than-durable paint chipped, no matter how careful he was while he handled it. There were several Ultra Lord arms, masks, and legs all in a box, waiting to be joined to a plastic body once more. Before, if they broke, he would just go to Jimmy. Jimmy could fix anything. Anything. Sheen still held that belief.

He hadn't been to school since the accident, but his father hadn't gotten on to him. He tried one day - to support Cindy on the day she had tried to return - but the air at school was different without Jimmy. Cindy didn't bother to answer questions, and Jimmy wasn't there to, so they went unanswered. Cindy had burst out into tears when their science teacher had started talking about electrons, protons and...neutrons. Seeing Cindy fall apart had made Sheen unravel as well. Neither had been back to school since.

He no longer had the strength to visit Jimmy, to look at his peaceful face...almost like a child sleeping. Yet there was a darker presence there. More than once Sheen had woken in a sweat, dreaming that Jimmy was dead. Now he didn't sleep. The dreams were too realistic, like a prophecy of things to come.

He tried to keep busy - he did the chores around the house, did the grocery shopping, anything that could keep his mind from drifting back to that hospital room. He dreaded moments of silence, for in them he could hear the steady _beep..beep...beep_ noise that insufferable EGK machine they had Jimmy hooked up to.

"Why him!" Sheen demanded aloud of no one inparticular. No one answered. He hadn't expected them to. Sheen continued, "If it was anyone of us...Cindy, Carl, Libby, or me, Jimmy would have saved us by now! He's a helluva lot smarter than those doctors! They're supposed to be helping him...Why aren't they helping him!"

He bit his lip, as the bitter tears started to flow. Why was he sitting here doing nothing? Why couldn't he face Jimmy? Or even his parents? Sheen couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Cindy anymore..

_He was gonna tell you that day, Cindy. _Sheen thought, as though Cindy were somehow channeling into his mind. _He was finally going to tell you he loved you. You love him, too..I know it. You have to...I'm sorry, Cindy. I know this is really hard for you..but damn it, it's hard for the rest of us, too, you know! _

The one thing that had kept Sheen from utterly falling apart was Cindy. He felt that as bad as he was hurting, it probably pailed in comparison to Cindy's by tenfold. Cindy had loved Jimmy..

_Stop it! _Sheen was screaming in his head, arguing with some darker, hidden part of his mind that had just spoken. _Jimmy's not dead!_

_Yet..._The other half answered.

_Shut up! Jimmy will come through for us! He always comes through for us!_

_So why's he waiting so long, huh? If he could do anything, why hasn't he done it yet? Stop fooling yourself. You're only going to make it harder on yourself when he dies._

_He's not going to die! _Sheen thought desperately, praying the other part of his mind would just shut up before any shred of hope he had was ripped away from him, the way Jimmy had been. Fortunately, it made no response this time. Sheen closed his eyes, trying to catch his bearings. Jimmy would wake up, if he stayed positive...then he'd come back, and he..he...he'd..

Sheen slumped down, and closed his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Because now both parts of his mind had the same message.. _He's never coming back. Give up._


	3. In the Assylum

Carl rolled over in his bed, trying to get comfortable. It was next to impossible, though, especially with his literally split-personality roommate muttering odd phrases under his breath, saying things so nonsensical that Carl felt he were in a cartoon. The boy in the other bed was sleeping soundly..there was no one to listen if he cried.

But he had done that so much lately..his best friend was gone. Before Jimmy had come to Retroville, Carl had had no friends. Sure, everyonce in a while Libby or Cindy would talk to him, but it was entirely out of pity. He hadn't even been aware Sheen existed, as Sheen was just some nameless face that everyone knew as the "Ultra dork" or some other similar nickname. Jimmy had changed all that...

Change had always scared Carl, it scared him still. Those changes, the ones that Jimmy had made, had made life worth living for, though. But a change as drastic as losing Jimmy? Carl couldn't stand that thought.

And now he was locked up, in this building where everything was white, everything was clean, everything was..sanitary. Carl was now viewed as self-destructive and a hostile threat to anyone around him. All because when Nick had been stupid enough to make a crack about Jimmy, while the doctors were sure Jimmy was going to die...it had angered Carl to a white-hot fury he had never felt before. He had thrown himself at Nick, punching him, unable to stop hitting, not even when he saw blood...Libby had pryed Carl off with two of their teacher's help, but the damadge was done. Nick's nose had been broken.

Carl was sent to the school counselor for 'rage issues', and during that time, he had blown up in the counselor's face as well. And he had stopped eating. That had been his parents' first clue that something was wrong with Carl. It was almost..humorous, Carl realized, laughing in a horrible voice that wasn't his own at this stupid joke. Some of the nurses kept trying to force feed him, but he always pushed them off, and ran to the bathroom. He hid in the stalls there until he was positive the nurses had passed on to some other unfortunate soul.

It seemed almost natural that he was crazy. He had been told it many times by the more popular crowd, but he had never believed it until Jimmy wasn't there to tell the other kids where to get off.

Carl sighed, longing for his room, where at least he could look outside and see the stars. Here there were no windows in the room, lest the prisoners try to escape. In Carl's mind, that's what he was. A prisoner. The only light anyone could see during the day was in the recreation room, and the sunlight came in through slits..there were bars over the window to discourage anyone from trying to escape or jump.

The door creaked open slowly, so Carl closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

"I'm sorry, but it looks like you're friend is still asleep, uh..?" Carl recognized the woman's voice. It was Nurse White. A fitting name for this place, without any color, any cheerfulness at all.

"Sheen." the familiar voice said. "My name's Sheen. Listen, could you just tell him I came by?"

"Certain-"

"Wait." Carl sat up, and reached for his glasses. He stood up, knowing he must have looked terrible..Sheen probably didn't care, but Carl suddenly found he didn't like his friend seeing him in this state - in white pants, a white shirt, and now that he had lost five pounds from not eating at all for over a week, his face had started to sink in on itself. He had nearly screamed when he saw his own reflection just two days ago. How much worse could it have gotten in forty-eight hours?

"Good to see you, Sheen." Carl said, trying to manage a weak smile, but he could feel his face twist, and knew he probably had a rather sour expression now.

"Yeah..you too." Sheen looked away, and Carl knew that he was lying.

"How's Libby holding up?"

"She's ...well.." Sheen shrugged. "I only went to school for a day, but she seems to be holding up ok. Or at least, she's putting up a strong fight. Probably just trying to be there for Cindy."

"And..Cindy?"

There was an awkward pause here. Finally, after taking a deep breath, Sheen plunged in. "She's not doing so great. The only time I saw her she couldn't stop crying for longer than three minutes, and she hasn't been going to school either. And I've just got this feeling...that..that something's really wrong."

To Sheen's surprise, and his horror, Carl started laughing. It wasn't the kind of laugh you'd use at a funny joke, more the laugh of a cynical, depraved villain from some movie that was laughing at his foe's demise. "You've got a feeling..that something's wrong?" Carl asked mockingly. Sheen stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. "OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, YOU IDIOT! SHE LOVED HIM! SHE **LOVED **HIM! HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU BE IF IT WAS LIBBY LYING IN THAT BED, HUH! YOU THINK SHE'S HAPPY ABOUT IT! SHE PROBABLY FEELS LIKE IT'S HER FAULT, FOR ACTING LIKE A TOTAL BITCH TO JIMMY ALL THE TIME, AND ALL YOU CAN THINK TO SAY IS YOU THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG!" Carl's shoulder's heaved up and down, as he struggled for breath. He was refusing to use his inhaler now, not caring if anything happened to him.

Sheen just stood in front of him, his mouth agape. Neither said anything for several minutes. Then, finally. "I have to go." Sheen was refusing to look Carl in the eyes now, and Carl knew why.

No matter how much he would try to deny it, Carl felt that Sheen knew he was right. About all of it.


	4. Darkness

Sashau Vortex wiped the kitchen table for the third time today. In her opinion, tidyness was the most important thing, next to making sure to assosciate with the right sort of people. She frowned, and stiffened at this thought. Her daughter was certainly pressing her luck, being seen with the likes of that Neutron boy. And speaking of Cindy, what was taking her so long with her bath?

She frowned, fighting the temptation to yell. After all, she reasoned, Cindy was going through a hard time. She really did care for Jimmy, no matter what Sashau had tried to do to stop her, so it only made sense that his being in intensive care would affect her deeply, force heartache upon her. She glanced at the clock by the kitchen and stared long and hard - it was 8:30 now. Cindy had gotten in the shower at 6:45. There was nothing that could be taking her this long..

"Cindy! Cindy!" She called as she ran up the stairs, but there was no answer. For once, Mrs. Vortex was praying her daughter had simply snuck out like a normal sixteen year old girl might. She turned right when she reached the top of the stairs and was alarmed when she stepped in a puddle of water that had probably come from the bathroom.

The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar, but to be polite, Mrs. Vortex knocked once on the door. "Cindy? Cynthia? I'm coming in." She pushed the door open and fell forward, terrified at what she saw. Tears blurred her vision, she couldn't bring herself to move, didn't want to move..she wanted this to all be a nightmare.

There, in the tub, was her daughter, under the water, her hair floating gently around her, the only part of her still moving. The pearl necklace she always had on was floating right on top of the water. Realizing that if there was any hope of saving her daughter, she had to act quickly, Mrs. Vortex jumped forward and pulled Cindy out of the water. "God, Cindy, wake up! Now! You have to wake up!" She desperately groped for her daughter's arm, feeling for a pulse. There was still one..there was still hope.

As fast as her legs could carry her, she was downstairs, dialing 911. "911, what is your emergency?"

"I just found my daughter, she was in the tub and..and..." The tears were flowing so hard, it was hard to talk. "And..oh, God, I think she tried to kill herself..she's still got a pulse, but she isn't breathing! Get someone here quickly! Please..you have to save my daughter...Save my daughter.." The operator collected her address, then assured Mrs. Vortex that an ambulance would be by in mere minutes.

But the three minutes it took them to get there felt like lifetimes to Mrs. Vortex...in her mind, hours upon hours passed as she paced back and forth, trying to figure out what to do. Trying to find some way to help Cindy..

Finally, the ambulance was there, and they took Cindy away. Just as Mrs. Vortex was about to get in the ambulance, she heard a voice behind her.

"Mrs. Vortex?"

Libby had sensed that something was wrong even before she had heard the loud, wailing sirens of the ambulance. Now her fears were confirmed - Cindy was indeed hurt, though Libby did not know how.

And Mrs. Vortex couldn't bring herself to tell her. All she could do was give Libby a small hug. "Go back home...stay there. I'll call you if there's any news." Mrs. Vortex promised, climbing into the back of the ambulance.

The doors slammed, leaving Libby standing on the Vortex's lawn for several moments. Slowly, everyone around her was leaving, it seemed..what with Jimmy in a coma, Carl in the assylum, Cindy being taken to the hospital for only God knew why, and Sheen nowhere to be found. The only thing to accompany her on the short walk home was a starless night, pitch-black and empty.

Much, Libby had to admit, like life.


	5. Loss

**Note from Destiny: **Perhaps it is a bit much to ask, but I'd like a few more replies, so could you guys get the word out about this fanfic..if you like it, I mean. I don't want to sound like a tempestuous bitch, but I'm starting to feel disinheartened..but thanks to those of you who are replying, I really appreciate it. Oh, and for the one that mentioned the Britney Spears song, that song might actually be in here later, good job at ..uh...I don't know exactly what to call it, but good job.

Hugh and Judy Neutron were in the waiting room when they saw the stretcher pull in, surgeons rushing everyone out of their way. They exchanged glances, both feeling sorry for whomever else had to suffer the grief that they were going through, for they could tell by the slight glimpse they had gotten that the body on the stretcher was that of a teenager, like Jimmy.

Judy let out a gasp of surprise when she saw Sashau run in, her usually neat make-up smeared from tears she had tried to rub away, the mascera tinting the tears that were still rolling, turning them black. "Please, please, you have to let me back there!" She pleaded with the receptionist. But it might as well have fallen on deaf ears, for the receptionist simply shook her head sadly.

"Sashau, what happened?" Judy asked consolingly. Mrs. Vortex sniffed, and looked away. "Is it Cindy?"

"Yes." Sashau took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. She and Judy Neutron were often opposing forces in any of the neighborhood skirmishes, but when they were able to put differences aside, and they actually agreed, they were a strong team. Even Mrs. Vortex had to admit that. "She tried to drown herself...over your son, I'm guessing."

Suddenly, Judy felt overwhelmed, actually finding herself feeling sorry for Sashau Vortex. But then again, Mrs. Neutron had always rather liked Cindy, when she was getting along with Jimmy, that was. And after all, it was the parents who were supposed to go first. No parent should ever have to see thier child die.

Or in the hospital, Judy added to herself as an after thought. She would have gladly switched places with her son at the moment, if only she could have...But that was a distinct impossibility. "Sashau, did you call Libby and tell her?"

"She saw the ambulance arrive..I couldn't talk to her about it." Mrs. Vortex said, her voice trembling. "I don't want what happened to...to.."

Judy finished it for her. "You don't want Libby to end up like Carl." Before her heart had even been mended, right after it had just been broken once, telling Carl that Jimmy might not survive had broken it once more. But what if Jimmy did die, and Cindy as well? Wouldn't that affect the neighborhood kids even worse?

Judy had to admit the prospects were terrible that her son would wake up. But still, she prayed for him, and now, she was also praying for Cindy. And for Cindy's mother, who was crying so desperately and looked so lost, that Judy knew that Cindy was her whole world.

The doctors were doing their best, but something just wasn't right. Cindy's lungs had collapsed, her heart had nearly burst open. It wasn't such a rare occurence with drowning victims, but it did strike one doctor as odd, as most suicides for girls were done by sleeping pills or tylenol.

It took bravery, and a really terrible situation to cause someone to undergo the pain that went with suffocating by their own choice, their lungs. The pain lasted several minutes, and from what he knew from talking with the handful of survivors, it was excruciating, and rather unbearable.

The EKG machine was now going into a frenzy - the little blonde girl, the one on the table that looked strikingly similar to his own daughter, was dying. Her heartbeat was going out. "Clear!" He demanded, firing up the defrilibrator and delivering the shock to her chest.

No response. He lowered his head, ashamed. "She's dead."

At that very moment, in the next room in Intensive care, a pair of blue eyes slowly fluttered open.


	6. Guilt

**Note from Destiny: **Thanks for the replies, and no, obviously, the previous chapter was not the last. I'm not sure how many chapters this will have, but when it's over, the last chapter will have the words "The End" on it so that you will know.

Jimmy sat up and looked around. It was obvious to him he was in a hospital, and at first, he wondered how he had gotten there. It didn't take long, though, for his photographic memory to kick in and for him to go through the accident in painful detail.

But as he got up from the bed, he heard a loud sobbing noise outside his doorway. The person causing the noise moved forward, standing right before the entrance to his room. "Please!" Mrs. Vortex yelled. "I have to see her, now! I have to see her..." she broke down into hysterical sobs.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry," The doctor said, shaking his head. "She's dead. There's nothing more any of us can do about it."

Before Jimmy even realized what he was doing, he was out of bed and standing right beside Mrs. Vortex. Cindy couldn't be dead..this was a dream. Some really stupid dream he'd wake up from in a few minutes...but his logic argued with that presumption. He pinched himself, and yelped. It had hurt. This wasn't a dream.

But if the doctors couldn't do anything, maybe he could. He wasn't sure what, but he had to try, didn't he? He started to walk past the doctor that had just been speaking with Mrs. Vortex. "What are you doing:" He demanded, but Jimmy didn't answer. He had to see for himself..

He stared at the body on the table. Sure enough, it was Cindy. Her eyes were closed, as though she were just sleeping. For a moment, that's what he thought. _She's just sleeping. Just sleeping..any moment now, she'll wake up and tell me to get out of her room, and demand to know how she got here. How did she get here?"_

"Jimmy!" His mother had grabbed him from behind, hugging him. "The doctor said you were up..oh, I'm so glad you're all right, Jimmy! What's going..on?" Mrs. Neutron peeked around her son. "Oh, dear, God." She could see that Cindy wasn't breathing. It was rather obvious she was dead.

_Sleeping beauty.._Jimmy thought for a moment. He longed to kiss her, to have her wake up. She had to be sleeping, he didn't want to be without her.

"You knew the patient?" The doctor who had given Mrs. Vortex the news asked. "Very sad, poor girl. Drowned herself in the bathtub after something happened to the boy she was in love with."

Jimmy couldn't fool himself anymore. The doctor had used the past tense. Cindy was gone. But he was a genius, he was supposed to be the one that made everything right. Why couldn't he think of a way to make this all better, to make Cindy open those limpid green eyes of hers? His whole world was spinning out of control. He sunk to his knees and vomited.

Judy leaned down and put her arms around her son. "Sweetie, I'm sorry..I know you loved her."

"Don't say that, mom! Don't you ever say that!" Jimmy yelled, angry. He knew this wasn't his mother's fault, but she was there, and he needed to yell right now, to get everything off his chest. "I still love her!" Desperately, he ran to Cindy's body, put her cold hand in his. "Wake up, Cindy...wake up, dammit!"

She didn't wake up. Her eyes didn't open, her body didn't move..no signs of life. Cindy was gone. And, in a way, Jimmy felt it was his fault.


	7. Everytime

**Note from Destiny: **Chapter after this is being held hostage - six replies will get you the chapter. Until then, it will just sit here on my computer.

"Libby?" Sheen asked slowly, carefully. He didn't want to upset her further. "Is there anything I can do for you?" He knew there wasn't, but he felt it best to lay the offer down. He didn't like seeing her hurting so much, with nothing he could do. "Cindy was a really good person.."

"How would you know?" Libby spat. "You barely even knew her.."She was standing before Cindy's grave, in a black skirt and matching blouse. Everyone here was in black. Libby turned, and caught sight of Jimmy. He had been silent since he had woken up, save when he had talked to Carl. Carl was here now as well, looking a bit healthier, though his face was still sunken in. But Jimmy was just standing, out of everyone's way, watching the funeral as though he were an outsider, someone who didn't even know Cindy.

But that was a lie. Jimmy had known Cindy the best of all. Libby wanted to yell at Jimmy, hit him. She knew that what Cindy would want right now was for Jimmy to be all right, not to be refusing to let anyone in on his thoughts. Jimmy was sinking, drowning in the same kind of pain Cindy had felt. _Well, Cindy, _He thought bitterly, _When you were feeling this bad, you killed yourself. Maybe I should follow you...we're supposed to be together. Even when I was little and both of us were always arguing, I knew we'd end up together. So why'd you ruin it? Why did you have to leave me alone? I'm lost without you..._

From seemingly nowhere, music began to start playing, swelling louder until it reached Jimmy.

_Notice me_

_Take my hand._

_Why are we strangers when_

_Our love is strong.._

_Why carry on without me?_

Jimmy had been ok at the funeral. Sure, he had been silent, but what was there to say? The "I'm so sorries" and the "I knew your daughter, she was a great girl."s only seemed to make Mrs. Vortex cry harder and longer. So he had kept his mouth shut, but he had been fine...until he had walked by the open casket and seen Cindy lying there..that had been too much. He had fallen to his knees and started sobbing openly. What the hell gave her the right to leave him? He had always thought she loved him back..her doing this confirmed it, but that was of no comfort. Instead, it sent stabs of pain through Jimmy's heart, realizing she had done this for him.

_Everytime I try to fly, I fall,_

_Without my wings, I feel so small._

_I guess I need you, baby. _

_And everytime I see you in my dreams,_

_I see your face, it's haunting me._

_I guess I need you baby.._

The nightmares had started since he had seen her lying on the table in the hospital. Everytime he closed his eyes, he relived her death. He knew much about suffocation, about the pain and agony that went with drowning. And seeing Cindy go through that, without any way to help her..it was too painful to bare. He had to go on sleeping pills he developed himself in order to just have darkness when he slept.

_I make believe that you are here._

_It's the only way I see clear._

_What have I done?_

_You seem to move on easy.._

Still, his body had felt extremely tired with only the pitch black to accompany him while he slept. More than once, he had fallen asleep at school, only to dream of Cindy. She was in front of him, and he kept trying to catch up..but she was so fast...there was no way he could keep up with her. And being awake wasn't much help, either. Jimmy still turned to face the desk beside his, trying to tell Cindy something, or believing he had heard a voice telling him he was wrong. But the desk was always empty...

_And everytime I try to fly, I fall,_

_Without my wings, I feel so small._

_I guess I need you, baby._

_And everytime I see you in my dreams,_

_I see your face, you're haunting me,_

_I guess I need you baby._

Most of the time, Jimmy could handle himself. But when he couldn't, it was often Cindy who helped him through particularly difficult situations. She was always there when he needed her. So why wasn't she there now?

_I may have made it rain,_

_Please forgive me.._

_If my weakness caused you pain,_

_Then this song is my sorry.._

Bitter tears streaked down his cheeks, rolling until they fell off his face. It was him not being strong enough to wake up just a few hours sooner that had lead to this. The girl he loved was dead, all because of him.

_Oohh.._

_At night I pray.._

_That soon your face will fade away.._

All at once, he just wanted to forget about Cindy, erase her from his memory completely so that he couldn't feel this pain, but then, he thought it would be even more painful to lose even the memories he had of her. Even the ones that weren't all that pleasant, he wanted to hold onto, to never let go of. They were all he had left of her. Jimmy had already lost her once, to lose her again was unthinkable.

_And everytime I try to fly, I fall,_

_Without my wings, I feel so small._

_I guess I need you, baby.._

_And everytime I see you in my dreams,_

_I see your face, you're haunting me_

_I guess I need you baby._

There was nothing left to do, he thought. But then, he had a sudden burst of inspiration. There was still one thing he could do..but the dangers were great. Yet it seemed like the price was tiny in comparison with never seeing Cindy again..he had to take that chance. Determinedly, he got to his feet, and raced off to his lab.


	8. Can't Live Without You

**Note from Destiny: **Exactly six replies. I didn't think it would be difficult to obtain, and yet, I'm disappointed..perhaps I need to work a good deal more at my writing. But thank you to those of you who did reply, and by the way, Cutie5, checked out your story, loved it..but you confuse me. You said it's great to see some good writers emerging on this site for Jimmy Neutron. There are over 300 fanfics for Jimmy as it is, but since some of those are repeat authors, let's assume that there are 200 writers. Are there so few that write well? In your opinion (aside from Dory and GaDs2000, and yourself, I am quite aware of them) who are writers you would recommend? Perhaps I am just over annalyzing a simple compliment, but it's something I do well. Also, my spelling tends to be on the horrid side, and I've never been sure whether the word is continuum, continuim, or something like, but it refers to the space-time continuim (which is how I'll be spelling it).

Goddard whimpered, but Jimmy shook his head. "I don't care about the time-space continuim right now." He looked down at his project, and clipped a lose wire. "Cindy's the one on the line here." Goddard's screen popped open. _But Cindy's dead, _GTV pointed out. Jimmy snorted. "Well, she won't be, not after this." _But she's supposed to be._ GTV flashed. _What if it makes something worse happen?_ "Not possible, Goddard, there's..there's nothing worse than losing Cindy. Nothing at all."

The tone of Jimmy's voice, and the sad look in his eyes forced Goddard to give up on his argument. Logic would not be enough to talk Jimmy out of this. His plan was simple enough - travel back in time to save Cindy before she drowned, but so many things could go wrong. What if Cindy didn't listen to Jimmy's argument? What if the time-traveling caused such a huge rip in the space continuim that it would permanently alter the past, present, and future? So many things that could go wrong..things that normally would have been running through Jimmy's mind, making him realize how bad of an idea this was, but all that was on his mind was Cindy and the opportunity to save her.

"Goddard, set the time." Jimmy ordered. He was using the somnus portal, which he had hooked to the time booth, to get back to the past. Obediently, Goddard used his extendable arm to type in the date, two weeks ago, at seven thirty. Instinctively, the metallic dog didn't want to go along with the plan, but he was also smart enough to know that Jimmy couldn't truely function without Cindy. He would exist, true enough, but Cindy, whether dead or alive, still held his heart. He pulled the switch, and a glowing pink and orange tunnel errupted in the somnus portal. Jimmy bit his lip, took a deep breath, and walked in.

He came out on the other side to find his lab in utter dissarray - a can of Purple Flurp was lying on its side on a desk, dripping its contents on a near computer, there was paper everywhere, and Goddard was on the floor, clearly in sleep mode. Carefully, Jimmy stepped over the mechanical pooch, and righted the Purple Flurp. Then, he walked outside. It was a calm twilight, the sun was setting slowly, casting the sky a vibrant mix of orange and pink. Seemed like a dumb night to kill yourself, Jimmy thought bitterly.

Though Jimmy knew the neighbours would think it weird to see a teenage boy that was supposed to be in a coma walking around, he didn't bother himself with worries about it. If anyone approached him and asked if he was out of the hospital, he'd lie and tell them yes. He reached the front steps of the Vortexs' without anybody asking him where he was. This in itself was odd, the cul-de-sac where he lived was filled with most of the nosiest neighbours imaginable. The street seemed deserted, as finally, one-by-one, the steetlights flickered on. He hadn't even realized that the sun had set. He pushed the door open, and was glad to find it open.

It would be a more difficult task for Jimmy to get up the stairs without Mrs. Vortex suspecting anything odd. As far as she knew, he was still in the hospital. But Sashau Vortex was nowhere to be seen, so Jimmy took a break for it. He bounded up the steps, determined to make it to the bathroom.

Jimmy reached the white door to the bathroom within a minute. The door was just slightly open, steam pouring from out of the room, so hot Jimmy was reminded of a sauna. There was water all over the floor.."Cindy?" He whispered. She didn't hear him. "Cindy?" This time, she should have heard him. Jimmy was sure Mrs. Vortex had heard him downstairs. If Cindy wasn't answering, was she already...

Jimmy's legs didn't seem to want to support him. His knees buckled, nearly giving out on him. But it was for Cindy. He had to do this. He reached forward and pushed the door open. Gingerly, he stepped in. The water was off, but the steam continued until Jimmy pushed the door open more behind him. Cindy was lying at the bottom of the water. Jimmy was sick of seeing her eyes closed now...Without much thought for anything other that her safety, he reached under the water and used both hands to pull her up, cradling her body close to him.

Cindy's eyelids fluttered open, and she pulled away from Jimmy. She spat out some water, and then sat back and stared at him. It took both of them a few minutes to realize that Cindy was naked. They both noticed at the same moment, and both reached for the towel at the exact same time. "Thanks." Cindy muttered, wrapping it around herself. "Jimmy..is that really you?"

"In a way, yes." He answered, taking her hand in his. She was alive..he was talking to her. He had stopped that unspeakable act from happening, Cindy was alive!

"In a way?" Cindy sat on the edge of the tub, her wet hair spilling over her shoulder on the right side. "Jimmy, what do you mean?"

"What does it matter? You're alive.." Jimmy couldn't help but smile. But Cindy grabbed her hand back, staring at Jimmy, with an almost scared look in her eyes. "Do you mean I was supposed to go through with that?" She asked. Jimmy wanted more than anything to lie to her. But he found himself unable to.

Looking away, he answered. "Yes. You were supposed to, but..Cindy, I couldn't bare it! I can't stand being without you.." He bit his lip. _Don't say you're leaving again, Cindy..don't let me feel that kind of pain again.._Jimmy thought desperately. Cindy fiddled with a strand of her hair nervously.

"You time traveled?" She asked. Jimmy nodded. "Jimmy, you're not supposed to alter the past. It can have really bad consequences. You know that. If I'm supposed to die, then I need to do it. I'm just glad you made it out of the hospital." Now she was crying. Jimmy wouldn't have noticed at first, because the tears merely looked like the many droples of water on her skin, but her eyes were turning red. She put her arms around Jimmy. "You're safe..what more could I want?"

"Cindy," Jimmy put his hands on her shoulder and pushed her away, so that her eyes met his perfectly. "That's what I want for you. For you to be safe, to be with me. And.." Jimmy knew what threat would make her stay alive now. "If you kill yourself, I swear, I'll follow you. I don't give a damn about the space-time continuim.."

Cindy looked thoughtful for a moment, before pressing into Jimmy once more, sobbing into his chest. All he could do was keep his arms around her, holding her as closely as he could. "All right." She agreed, still crying. "But if this affects you in the hospital at all, if it keeps you from ever waking up, I'll come after you."

"All right." Jimmy promised. Cindy pressed his lips to his, her arms moved around his neck as his encircled her waist. "No matter what," He whispered, "I love you."


	9. Promise Me

**Note from Destiny: **Originally, this was going to be the last chapter..then I changed my mind. I'm allowed to do that, I believe, and if you truely enjoy this story then I doubt you'll mind.

Cindy stood where she was for a few minutes after Jimmy had left to return to his proper time. She smiled, her lips still tingling, her mind replaying Jimmy kissing her over and over again. He had risked a lot to come back to save her, but it didn't seem to have affected anything. She thought.

Without much thought to it, or any worries, she walked out of the bathroom and into her room, and got changed. Cindy's smile seemed permanently glued on, as she got into bed, as she stared outside into the starry sky, her eyes refecting the stars' light. It was hours before her eyes slowly closed, extinguishing the light.

The next morning, she hurriedly dressed and bounded down the stairs and greeted her mother with a smile. Mrs. Vortex looked confused as they had their regular morning talk, which ended with Mrs. Vortex agreeing to lend Cindy the family car to go visit Jimmy with. "Thanks, mom!" Cindy called as she walked out, jumping over the steps on her front porch. She unlocked the door to the pink corvette and got in. Just as she was about to turn the key, her hand instead went to her head. It hurt...God, her head felt like it was going to explode. It had felt like this only once before..the day of Jimmy's accident.

With a nervous laugh she chided herself and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She started the car, backed out, and drove to the hospital so quickly that it was lucky there had been no cops on the road to bust her for speeding. There was a visitor's parking lot somewhere, but she had never been sure exactly...after all, the few times she had visited, she was accompanying the Neutron's, and the relatives of patients had a seperate parking lot.

Cindy located the visitor's parking behind the hospital and was relieved to find that not many cars were there. She was able to get a close parking spot. From there, she walked into the hospital. Both Hugh and Judy Neutron were there, asleep. Judy's head was rested on Hugh's shoulder, his hand around hers. Cindy took a seat by them, waiting. Jimmy should be up soon.

The clock ticked overhead. The sound seemed to echo through the room, reverberating off the walls for several seconds. Cindy glanced at it, as the minute hand slowly reached the next minute. She took a deep breath. She was overanxious, that was all. Jimmy would wake up today. He had to wake up..

An hour later found Mr. and Mrs. Neutron awake, and Cindy rather irritable. He was supposed to have woken up at about eight-thirty last night, he had told her so. But he still wasn't waking...

Comprehension dawned on her. That major of a change had indeed set something astray with the time-space continuim. Perhaps now it was demanding Jimmy's life for not being able to claim Cindy's. It seemed mad, but Cindy could also imagine an image of the Grim Reaper so annoyed with Jimmy for saving Cindy that he had taken Jimmy instead. It was a warm May day, and yet Cindy felt bitterly cold, both internally and externally. She wished she had brought a sweater or jacket..anything to fight the cold.

And now she felt sick. She put one of her ice-cold hands on her face to feel for a temperature, but she couldn't tell, not with the rest of her skin that cold. Judy studied her for a moment. "Cindy, are you all right?" Cindy nodded frantically, knowing that if she told Mrs. Neutron the truth, she would only worry about Cindy as well, and the poor woman already had enough to worry about it. But Judy Neutron had plenty of experience with teenagers, and was good at telling when someone was lying. She walked to Cindy and pressed her hand to Cindy's forehead. "You have a fever..maybe you should go home?"

"No.." Cindy glanced at the hallway all the doctors were walking into and out of. She wanted to be here when Jimmy woke up.._If he wakes up.._the thought came, causing the tears to come again. Hugh and Judy exchanged glances. "Look, I'll take you home if that's what you need." Hugh offered. Cindy shook her head.

There was nothing at her house. Just her mother's patronizing glances and comments, and her father being entirely passive, allowing whatever Mrs. Vortex said to be law. And then there was the fact that she had been there when she tried to kill herself..

Part of her wanted to try again now. Maybe it would revive Jimmy...but then, the conversation they had had when he had come back for her flashed into her memory..

_"Look, Cindy," Jimmy looked scared. She wasn't sure what he was afraid of, only that he was. "If I don't wake up for a while, I never want to wake up to find out that you're dead."_

_"But it's so hard to be without you.." Cindy admitted, staring into his deep blue eyes. God, she had missed the sight of them when they had been closed for so long. "I can't stand it. If I promise to be alive when you wake up, will you promise me you'll wake up..please?" She was practically begging, and she knew it was a mistake. _

_"Cindy," Jimmy's voice sounded grave, painful. "I will try everything I can to get back to you in as little time as possible. I love you too much, I can't always keep you waiting. And since it makes sure you'll stay alive, I'll really do my best. But would you do me another favor?"_

_"All right.."  
_

_"You know I love you, and I think you feel the same, but if something happens to me, if I don't wake up for a long time, move on. Get someone new."_

_Cindy had promised just to make him happy, even though she never had any intention of being with someone else. There was no one else, there had never been, there never would be. _

She had promised. Promised not to kill herself. Even though her heart may as well have been bursting. Jimmy wasn't waking up. Quite possibly..he would never.


	10. Nothing Left

**Note from Destiny: **Important note at the end of this chapter..

"Ouch.." Carl grumbled as the nurse removed the needle from his arm. "This'll help you sleep a bit better." She said cheerfully.

"Sheesh, how powerful of an anti-depressant do they have you on, lady?" Carl asked, glaring at her. She looked away for a moment. "Powerful enough to make a charging rhino happy for five days..You need it when you've seen the kinds of things I have."

With that, she left the room. Carl blinked a few times, willing himself to overcome the tranquilizer - to no effect. Soon he was off in dreamless sleep, a darkness enveloping him in his entirety. Emptiness, nothingness...that was all that could describe these times. In these sleeps, nothing existed - not Carl, not the hospital, not the nurse..certainly not his friends back in Retroville. They barely existed to him now anyways.

The best way to numb the pain was to pretend they never existed. Carl had nearly driven himself out of his mind, trying to erase the happy times with him, Sheen, and Jimmy...They couldn't exist. They couldn't be real. Carl had worked so hard to become numb..he felt nothing anymore.

No sadness...

No fear..

No anxiety..

No happiness..

Nothing. Just as he was now..he was nothing, just a pitiful excuse to take up space that someone more deserving could have been using. Breathing air more worthy people should have had...those thoughts were all in Carl's mind when he was awake, leading him to try to stay asleep for as long as he possibly could, evoking the nurses and attacking them just to get the tranquilizers.

It was miserable, this existence, and more than once, he had thought of provoking someone in the hospital more disturbed than himself, trying to get them to end his existence, as he didn't have the strength to do it by his own hand. Perhaps it would be better...

Or maybe it was the coward's way out. There had been a girl two years ago at their school..she had had AIDS, she was pregnant and the father was refusing to come forward, and she was a drug addict..she had jumped from the top of the school one day, and died on impact. Carl had thrown up for weeks afterwards..

But what stuck with him was what everyone said.."_If she had the strength to do that, she could have gotten through that.._" That was one of the main things kids were saying..but that wasn't true, the AIDS probably would have killed her..

"_That's just sick! Who would kill themselves! That's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard of._" Even when Carl hadn't been going through such rough things, he had been able to sympathize with the girl..it was some pampered, stuck-up little bitch with no awarance of the real world that had said that one...

What would they say if he was gone? What would the gossip in the halls of his high school sound like? Would they say it was his fault, or consequence of things that Carl had no control over?

Carl didn't know, but the only thing he could think of at that moment was ending it all..

**Note from Destiny: **Ok, I actually have 2 more depressing fanfics that I'm working on at the moment, but I want to know which one you guys want posted first...the first one is rated PG-13 and is called "Broken"..it's mainly about Nick, and how he'd deal with an accident that disfigures his face permanently. The other is rated R and is called "Take It All Away". In it, Cindy and Jimmy are married, but she leaves him and takes their son with her...like I said, both are depressing..and both have songs in the first chapter (it's weird, but kind of interesting to do..)


	11. No One To Turn To

Not paying attention to where he was going, nor really caring, Sheen kept staring at the floor. It wasn't interesting..it never changed. Always the same white, linoleum, the only difference between the practically identical squares was the number of cracks in them. "Watch were you're going!" Someone snapped at him, as he and the other person were thrown onto the floor. He muttered a low sorry and picked up the other person's books.

When he looked up, Libby had already gotten to her feet. She extended a hand to help him up, which he accepted gratefully. "Thanks..sorry about knocking you ever." "Doesn't matter." Libby said simply. "What are you doing back at school?"

"Well, I haven't been in a month..what's wrong with being here now?" Sheen asked, staring at the lockers. It was odd, but he didn't like talking to Libby right now. She was one of the others that was always along for those adventures..he couldn't talk to her, definetly couldn't talk to Carl, and he always felt guilty about even looking at Cindy when he saw her out in the street, staring at Jimmy's house..because he had had all those horrible thoughts about her..

About how if she had lain off Jimmy for once, Jimmy wouldn't be in the hospital. Cindy was so proud, she refused to admit she loved Jimmy, even though the others knew it was true..in a way, even Jimmy had known. But she was suffering the worst out of all of them, so Sheen always felt terrible about thinking badly of her.

"You all right?" Libby asked, then instantly repremanded herself - how dumb of a question was that? To ask him if he was all right..Jimmy had been in a coma for a month now, and still showed no signs of getting better. All news about Carl suggested he was going to be moved to a higher security hospital.

"Uh..yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

There was an awkward pause. Both knew Sheen had lied, and it felt so..dumb, really. It echoed through the halls, mocking him. He had tried to fool someone that knew all too well what he was going through, knew all too well the way he was feeling. The only person who might truely understand...

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, frowning. "That was stupid of me.." She shook her head. "No, no it wasn't. I think you were just trying to keep me from feeling worse..but Sheen, it's all right to hurt, you know. It's all right to show that you're in pain. You can't let it overcome you, but you can show it."

"You don't." Suddenly, Sheen's tone was harsh, one that he had never taken with Libby before. "You're the only one who can stand being back here..you came here even the day after the accident..tell me, how many times did you visit Jimmy in the hospital, huh? When did you visit him? When did you see him lying there? When did you ever see the one who always helped us looking helpless!"

Libby closed her eyes, and let Sheen vent his anger..it stung so terribly, mainly because it was true. She had seen her grandfather die hooked up to those infernal machines, becoming a vegetable before it was all over...Seeing Jimmy in that state pained her too much. He was a great friend...even back when Libby was always helping Cindy tease him.

He would still help them with anything.

And now he wasn't there..Jimmy couldn't help them with this pain..


	12. Open Your Eyes

**Note from Destiny: **And sadly, this story draws to a close..Mind you, this is a lot happier ending than my next two stories. I will be starting Take It All Away and Broken at the same time..and will update the one that recieves more..generous, shall we say? replies more frequently. With that, here is the conclusion to Drowning..I hope you enjoy.

Cindy bid her eyes stay open, but there was no use. She blinked several times, her eyelids becoming heavier with each blink, until they were cemented shut. The next time they opened, it was bright inside once more.

"Good morning." a nurse greeted her cheerfully. Cindy nodded in reply, but said nothing. "It's been exactly one year today, right?" Cindy grunted a yes. "I expect he'll wake up soon..I'm sure he will."

Cindy couldn't help but feel embittered towards the nurse's optomism. "Cindy, you should go home." Mrs. Neutron said quietly. Day after day, they returned together, waiting on Jimmy to open his eyes. Cindy went to school now, but she often faked sick in order to check on Jimmy. Sometimes she even spent the night at the hospital. Mrs. Neutron always had this argument, that Cindy was too tired, and should go home and wait for news. But being alone in that empty house, waiting on news of Jimmy..it was too hard to deal with.

And yet, Cindy found herself agreeing to go. "All right, Mrs. Neutron. Call me if anything happens."

"Of course." Mrs. Neutron promised, giving a smile that illuminated her face, making her look less tired than she truely was.

Cindy called a cab from a payphone on the corner, just a block away from the hospital. "Where ya headed, missy?" the man asked.

"Just go down this street, take a right at the first red, then you keep going past two lights, then turn left." Cindy said tiredly. She was exhausted..she longed to get some sleep, but was scared that if she did, she'd miss some news about Jimmy.

The instant she stepped in the door, the phone rang, causing her to jump. "What the -" She groaned, but grabbed it. "Hello, Vortex residence."

"Cindy?" The voice on the other end was extremely excited, and Cindy found she couldn't place it. "Cindy you won't believe it! He..he woke up! He woke up! My baby boy finally woke up.." Cindy figured out the voice was Mrs. Neutron.

"He...really? I ..I'm so glad..should I come back to the hospital?"

"No, no, we're going to take him home now, and you can come see him!" Mrs. Neutron was much happier than she had been in a year, and Cindy most definetly had found it infectious.

"I'll be there, Mrs. Neutron!" Cindy promised. "I'll be there."

**The End**

Another question that might be asked is why I didn't show Jimmy and Cindy's re-unition..why not? Each person would want that different, and why argue with them? I leave it to your imaginations to figure out what happens between Jimmy and Cindy when they meet once more. Please read my upcoming stories, and remember - reviews make for friends, and quicker updates!


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